Things have been so busy at the office that I’ve had to pick up the slack and start maintaining this site as well as my full time job! In case folks didn’t realize, there are new versions of Office Jerk up on iTunes and on the Android Market. The iOS version has funky new objects that you can throw at me and even a checklist to make sure that you do everything! The new content should be coming to Android down the road. Keep an eye out for exciting new objects that you can fling at me.

The Jerk

P.S. Some people are getting the update through iTunes, but their device is not actually on the internet. You will only have the trophy and squid if you have the new content. Check if the bottom item shelf has the squid and the trophy shadows. If not, you do not have the new content. Make sure you connect your iOS device to the internet via WiFi or 3G to get the content update.

Seems like I’ve found my second wind. Right when I thought I’ve gotten as much entertainment as I could throwing stuff at the little jerk, he’s turned around and started retaliating back! He actually had the nerve to throw some chocolate cupcake back at me the other day! Ooohhoho, bad move my friend. This means WAR.

Check out Office Jerk V1.3 for iOS for all new taunts, reactions, and hidden surprises. And for a limited time only, play all the items (including the No Ads pack and ACME pack) completely free!!

So it’s been a while hey? Well let me catch you up on what’s been going on in the office. The boss just ordered a new colour laser printer and it’s been non-stop printer talk ever since. Toner cartridge life this, extendable paper tray capacity that. I much prefer the old printers myself. You know the ones where you have to tear off the perforated sides with the holes in it. Instead of paying attention in grade school, I always wove them into wicked paper hats that I’d wear to distract my teacher. Meanwhile, Herman’s been hard at work petitioning to have our office switch to 70% or higher post-consumer recycled eco-paper–I don’t even know what that means but I don’t like it. And of course he decides that the best place to put the new extra large recycling bins is right beside my desk… at least it provides a handy hiding place to stash my sticks of dynamite. Who keeps sticks of dynamite at the office, you ask? I do. How do I get it into the office? Not important.

Other than that, things are really starting to pick up in the Jerk Lab. In case you haven’t heard yet, Office Jerk for Android is now available on Amazon and the Android Marketplace for Free and Paid. Now Apple and Android users alike can enjoy the satisfaction of picking on the little dweeb. If you haven’t gotten it yet, this is your cue to jump on it. Updates of all sorts of awesome are also on the way so stay tuned!

The day of reckoning has finally arrived. Update to Office Jerk V1.2 and prepare to rearrange faces with brand new items, Jerk reactions, and hidden bonus point targets. Now available on the iTunes App Store!! I hope our little brown-nosing friend likes cupcakes…

So I think the boss is finally starting to catch on to me. The last couple times I lobbed a stick of TNT at the little brown-noser, the boss man poked his cheap toupee’d head out from his office. Dynamite exploding could pass as street noise, couldn’t it? Well, either way it’s time to switch things up. I’ve been scoping out the office for more objects with prime throwing potential and the more I think about it, that communal office fan is starting to look real good to me. Same goes for the batch of chocolate cupcakes left over from Gladys’ birthday. Hmmm. I think the good old arsenal is about to get a bit of an update…

I’ve been way too busy throwing junk at that dweeb to sit down and write. But here’s a quickie tip for driving people at the office crazy: turn the clocks back!

Whenever you see an opportunity, hop on someone’s computer and set the time back an hour. Do the same for wall clocks. The more clocks you can change, the more widespread the confusion! Unsuspecting coworkers won’t know what hit them (as unsuspecting people are known to do) when they’re an hour late for a meeting! The look on their face when the boss fires them will be priceless!

Of course, you have the alternate option of setting clocks forward. It’s not nearly as funny, but you can probably get a few chuckles out of it. Watch as coworkers show up to meetings early and wonder, “oh, I thought the meeting was at 3. What do you mean it’s 2?” Think of your own ways to combine the wrong time and workplace chaos!

So we sent out a press release today. Big whoop. Oh no… wait…. BIG WHOOP! WHOOP! Thanks to everyone who picked it up. And if you were having issues getting the game to run, there’s a new version in the App Store that should fix the problem!

Office Jerk Surpasses 1.6 Million Downloads in Four Days to Become #1 Free App in 23 Countries

Hilarious New Game from Fluik Entertainment and Big Fat Simulations Rockets to Global Success in iTunes App Store

Office Jerk, the side-splitting new game from Fluik Entertainment and Big Fat Simulations, is off to an incredibly successful start, with more than 1.6 million downloads from the iTunes App Store in its first four days of availability. Download numbers continue to climb for the feel-good game of the year for anyone tired of dealing with brown-nosing, know-it-all coworkers, as Office Jerk quickly became the #1 free app in 23 countries, including the United States, United Kingdom and Canada, and placed among the top 5 free apps in 62 countries. Office Jerk is available for free in the iTunes App Store.

Office Jerk is the 10^th game from Edmonton-based Fluik Entertainment, and the latest in a string of successful collaborations with Vancouver’s Big Fat Simulations. The two companies previously teamed up to bring Airport Madness Challenge to iOS devices, a game that surpassed 750,000 downloads – albeit not nearly as fast as Office Jerk. Office Jerk is free to download for iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch, with in-app purchases unlocking the satisfyingly destructive ACME Pack (dynamite, pie and eggs) for $1.99, as well as the office-supply-themed Remove Ads pack (mug, stapler) for $0.99.

“We are thrilled to see the enthusiastic response to Office Jerk, and couldn’t possibly be happier with the game’s success. Obviously there are a lot of people who like to chuckhousehold objects and office supplies at people… virtually, of course,” said Victor Rubba, CEO of Fluik Entertainment. “We had high hopes for the game, and reaching the top of the App Store charts in so many countries is truly humbling; we’ll continue to support the franchise in the future, and I assure you that this is just the beginning for Office Jerk – and for Fluik, as a developer of top-quality, highly engaging gamesthat players of all ages can enjoy.”

Find out more at http://theofficejerk.com and follow Office Jerk on Twitter and on Facebook.

About Office Jerk
You know the guy. He works late, always gets stuff done on time and would never, ever think about calling in sick. But don’t let his do-good attitude get you down… it’s time to get even. Grab whatever you have on your desk and throw it at him when he least expects it, racking up your score with each consecutive, bone-crunching impact. Just be sure to account for the gusting winds caused by the communal office fan, or you might end up causing damage to something other than that brown-noser… And nobody wants that, right?

About Fluik Entertainment
Founded in 2009, Fluik Entertainment is an Edmonton-based game developer focused on iPad and iPhone projects with broad appeal. For more information, visit http://fluik.com and follow the company on Twitter and on Facebook.

I’m never going to suggest that you actually hurt someone for real… and not just because I’d be caught in the midst of some lawyer-filled, shark-like feeding frenzy, but because… well… I’m a lover, not a hurter. Thankfully, however, common household items can make life hell for your own resident Herman without causing him direct harm. Case in point: milk.

Despite the undeniable ickiness of drinking another animal’s juices, this liquid from the teats of bovine creatures is a good source of calcium. It’s also a source of hilarious office hijinks! Here’s a step-by-step guide to using milk as a fun diversion on a boring day (or week) at work:

1. Acquire milk. It’s available quite readily at most supermarkets, convenience stores and gas stations. For best results, utilize fresh product straight from the teat. Make sure your hands are warm, or the cow may be upset.

2. Find a nice, warm spot to prime the milk. During this time, bacteria found in the milk will begin to turn it into a sour melange of scents and flavors. A veritable cornucopia of delight. Pasteurized milk is a bit tougher to turn “bad,” but that’s more of a challenge than a reason to not use it. You’ll know it’s good to go when it smells bad. Duh.

3. Apply milk to the target environment. There are a few ways of doing this: the easiest way is just to find a secluded place to hide the carton/container of milk. Your goal, really, is to get the stinky concoction within “Nose Perception Range” of your target/victim without them noticing. If you harbor a really big grudge, you can take the more artistic route: use a paint brush or your hands (though that’s pretty smelly) to apply moderate amounts of the old milk to various office items. A cushy office chair is a particularly rotten place to apply this, but you could just paint little strips of stinky milk all over the place. It’s unlikely to be detected in painted-on form, and keeping up a routine of milk painting for a year is sure to drive that special someone right out of the office.

Enjoy! Do you have a clever way of using the milk? Let us know!

Fluik Entertainment and Big Fat Simulations released Office Jerk for the iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch today, the feel-good game of the year for anyone tired of dealing with brown-nosing, know-it-all coworkers. From the comfort of your cubicle, unleash a barrage of comical destruction upon your unsuspecting victim – from office supplies like paper and pencils to hilariously dangerous staplers and dynamite. Office Jerk is available in the iTunes App Store for free, alongside in-app purchases of the ACME Pack ($1.99) and the Remove Ads Pack ($0.99). Get it here!

You know the guy. He works late, always gets stuff done on time and would never, ever think about calling in sick. But don’t let his do-good attitude get you down… it’s time to get even. Grab whatever you have on your desk and throw it at him when he least expects it, racking up your score with each consecutive, bone-crunching impact. Just be sure to account for the gusting winds caused by the communal office fan, or you might end up causing damage to something other than that brown-noser… And nobody wants that, right?

It’s “Hump Day.” That sounds really, really fun, but the moniker is, in fact, entirely misleading.  The “hump” part, I understand, is derived from the phrase “to get over the hump,” which makes sense if you look at the work week as a bell curve, or maybe a dromedary.

Regardless, it basically implies that Wednesday is going to be the worst day you’ll have for the rest of this week. That’s an optimistic thought, isn’t it? Here are a couple of really simple ways to really give the day a good hump:

• Play “Pin the tail on the donkey” with other people at the office. You could just use a pin and call it “Pin the pin on the donkey” — the choice is yours. The objective: find people, and put pins on their chairs. This works exceptionally well in meetings. Make sure you pretend you sat on one, too. That way there’s deniability.
• Paper airplanes make for fantastic diversions, especially if you work in cubeville. Just make a good one – here’s a link to some paper airplane designs – throw it in an upward trajectory and wait for the fun. If you have to get up to throw it, get back down as quickly and softly as a tiny ninja, and no one will know it was you.
• Walk up to a random person in the break room and accuse them of stealing your lunch. Make a big scene, stubbornly don’t give up your position, and then remember that you didn’t bring a lunch.

Just a few ways to finish off the day!